Got a Real Good Feelin’ Somethin’ Bad is ‘Bout to Happen: Eerie Acres Halloween 2021

I am standing in the middle of a pallet maze. I’ve managed to lose both Lily and my way. Above me, I can see shards of sky. Somewhere off to my left, a chainsaw hums. To my right, I hear footsteps and yelps. I head toward the sound of a chainsaw because I know from experience that if there’s a chainsaw anywhere in a 5-mile radius, it will find Lily. Sure enough, she rockets past with a leather-aproned maniac hot on her heels. I chase after them only to see the maniac gesture with his saw: “Hard right!” Lily nods and runs into a wall. The maniac shakes his head and yells, “The OTHER hard right!”

I have a distinct sense of déjà vu. Lily and I are in the maze at Eerie Acres Farm, so of course we’re lost, and of course we’re relying on the dubious kindness of chainsaw-wielding lunatics…and of course we’re having fun.

Eerie Acres Farm, outside Butler, PA, is equal parts sugar and spice (kind of like a really good pumpkin spice latte). It’s fitting for an attraction that started as a home haunt. The enormous yard plays host to multiple food trucks, a beer garden, a DJ booth, and an enormous bonfire. Shrieking kids run across the yard while groups of friends – older teens and adults – cluster around the food and the fire. Ah, but behind a fortress-like wall crouches a high-energy haunt that contrasts with all the laidback good cheer in the yard.

Eerie Acres immerses you in scares right from the beginning. Within seconds of entering the haunt, Lily and I are lost in an optical illusion and attacked by creatures that seem to be doing some kind of complicated ninja/wire fu movements. After thoroughly terrorizing us (and mocking my laugh), they release us for the rest of the monsters to play with. And here, there are plenty of monsters at play. A word of warning: Eerie Acres revels in staging scares from different directions. Inside this haunt, monsters will drop down on you from above and spring up at you from the floor. (We encountered creatures crawling out of objects and over walls and stumbled over something that seemed to be a discarded prop but wasn’t.) Eerie Acres also uses that old standby, the inflatable tunnel, in a new and startling way.

Eerie Acres doesn’t have an overarching theme. Instead, guests snake through a barn, tiptoeing past – or participating in – a variety of scenes, including a cabin of violent hillbillies, an abandoned theatre, a circus, a sawmill, a swamp, a cannibal kitchen, and a demented dentist’s office. There aren’t a bunch of elaborate props or animatronics, but the sets are gritty and evocative, from the sawmill with its cages and enormous circular blade to the theatre where a movie flickers on the screen. The cannibal kitchen is grungy, dark, and genuinely disturbing while the hillbilly cabin looks almost homey. Eerie Acres knows how to set a scene (and create some striking, upsetting visuals: see, e.g., the bandaged nurse in the sawmill).

The barn, however, is only half the story. Just when you think you’re safe, you emerge into a crash site that is overrun with zombies, and your only escape is to dart into the corn maze.

Sure, that sounds safe.

Because this is Eerie Acres, the corn maze isn’t just a corn maze. Even as you’re winding through the rustling cornstalks, you stumble across a variety of scenes, including a pirate ship, a graveyard and chapel, a cabin, and a witches’ sabbat. It’s a BIG cornfield, but don’t worry, you’re not alone. In between the scenes, you’re hunted by whatever lurks in the corn. (Y’all, please appreciate my restraint in not making a dozen “stalking” puns.)

Because this haunt is not driven by animatronics or effects, it necessarily relies on the skill of its actors. Luckily, Eerie Acres is populated by a bunch of funny/scary/energetic creatures. A crawling creature in a hallway had us contemplating running all the way back to the entrance. The clowns in the circus were a diabolical delight: bubbly C.C. (Cute Creep? Chilling Clown?) was simultaneously scary and adorable while Psycho Sid was all happy menace and sinister physicality. The pig-faced chef was funny and aggressive keeping up a stream of grim jokes while his mutilated victims howled behind him. (The victims throughout the haunt do not just do the same thing – the caged girl in the sawmill was clearly out of her mind while the poor soul in the cannibal kitchen was broken and desperate.)

These monsters want to get to know you better – inside and out, you might say. Dr. Wisdom’s look might make you shudder, but he really just wants to make you smile. When you stumble into the hillbillies’ backyard, they’re positively welcoming (mostly because they need some help finding their pet possum). These monsters will stop and talk to you for a loooonnngg damn time.

But again, the barn is only half the story. The corn maze is full of monsters too… and the monsters here do something unusual and unsettling. Moments after we entered the maze, we heard something walking through the corn off to our right. “Is someone there?” Lily called. “Yes, there is,” a voice called…but nothing emerged from the corn. The creature followed us, growling and whispering, long before it finally leaped out at us. We also had a memorable encounter with a menacing priest and an undead scarecrow, and a spectral witch scored a big scare just by going about her business. (We walked past her; she glanced up and continued chanting.)

And, oh yeah, there are chainsaws.

Eerie Acres Farm wears its history as a home haunt proudly. It isn’t high tech, but it is high energy, filled with gleeful horror and rowdy humor. Eerie Acres combines the relaxed appeal of hanging out by a bonfire with your best friends and the nutty adrenaline of a no-holds-barred haunted attraction. Whether you want to toast marshmallows or test your courage, you’ll find what you’re looking for behind the rows at Eerie Acres.

Cost: $20 for general admission; $35 for a fast pass.

Length: 30-35 minutes.

Vibe: Motel Hell

COVID protocols: Most of the attraction is outdoors, and there is hand sanitizer available.

Kid-friendly?  The haunt should be fine for kids 12 and up, although there are some intense moments and bloody/disturbing sets. The crowd is mostly a mix of adults and teens.

Concessions: Eerie Acres has a rotating cast of guest food trucks, including the perennial favorite Pizza Joe’s, which is giving away free marshmallows to toast over the fire! Local (Indiana, PA) brewery Noble Stein Brewing is hosting the beer garden, with two tasty brews on tap.

Other stuff to do: There’s also a DJ booth (spinning country tunes the night we were there), photo opportunities, and a huge bonfire, perfect for gathering your courage before the haunt or drying your pants after.

Other stuff to know: This haunt also doubles as a cardio workout. You will have to navigate uneven surfaces and walk (or run) a long way.